RE: Representation in Hollywood


18278097_10154538071580963_2293605885181014376_o

I just sent this email. Enjoy…

[TALENT COORDINATOR], it has been nearly two weeks since you first contacted me. I have not heard from [TALENT AGENCY PARTNER] since your last email 11 days ago. I just attempted to reach you by phone, where I left a voicemail. I also attempted to reach [TALENT AGENCY PARTNER] by phone and the line was disconnected. To be honest, I grow weary devising stratagems to actually talk to a live human being at your firm.

If it’s not too much trouble, would it be possible for you to shed some light as to what is going on here? I find it difficult to escape the impression that I’m not at all a priority. Which strikes me as a bit strange. You reached out to me. I did not solicit you.

At this point my limited experience with your firm raises serious questions in my mind as to whether my interests would be adequately represented were I to employ you. Can you change my mind?

Please understand that the representation of talent is of the gravest concern to me. Particularly when I’m the talent. Art and performance is my life. I may be one of the most grateful humans in this town. I get to live and work in Hollywood, creating smiles, laughter and joy in all sorts of people from around the globe. Daily.

But I’m in no hurry to obtain representation. What I’ve accomplished up to this moment required none. What have I done? Please replay your PowerPoint presentation on Mark Roman. You have done your homework, right? As you may recall, you reached out to me.

Frankly (with all due respect), what I’ve seen of the talent representation industry leaves much to be desired. What I continue to do as an artist would develop much quicker with the right team. But whoever wants to be on that team has to prove themselves. To me. If you are not WME or CAA or the like my expectation is that you are a small boutique firm. In which case my look and talents had better be a primary showpiece of your firm. Otherwise, why are we wasting each other’s time?

I didn’t get off the bus from Nebraska yesterday. This ain’t my first ice cream social. I don’t seek fame. I was made a celebrity by a federal judge well before The Big Short. I don’t seek fortune. A casual survey of my tax returns from the last decade makes that crystal clear.

I seek to heal from the horrors of this world through my art. If I’m lucky, it makes people laugh. If I’m luckier, think. I will continue to do that until my last dying breath. Regardless of whether I can hire the best AV listed entertainment attorney in LA. Or not. Fun Fact about me: I respond poorly to those who would exploit my fellow artists in the town where I work, live and find my joy: Hollywood.

I’m Missouri. Show me.

[TALENT COORDINATOR], I never met you. I prefer to imagine you are a kind but earnest professional with the right intentions. But this conversation you initiated is no trivial matter to me. Is it to you and your firm? At the moment, with what little evidence there is at hand, I find it difficult to build a case that it’s not.

If I do not hear back within 24 hours I will have clarity as to what to report to my fellow SAG-AFTRA artists, industry friends, media, advocacy groups and my union. Should questions ever be asked about your firm.

Best wishes! Have a wonderful day!

 

Mark Roman (Nehls)
323-942-9508
TheMarkRoman.com
SAG-AFTRA
Vegas90210.com Characters
Heroteer.org Creator, Ground Game LA Volunteer
Subscribe 2 Club myMark 4 the latest: eepurl.com/2AyZ1

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

I Took Prince & My Life for Granted


No. A night’s sleep didn’t help.
I feel like a locomotive ran over me.
I’m sad. I’m angry. I’m disgusted with how much of my life I’ve wasted on formal education, jobs, religion, and pleasing people. I took for granted that someday perhaps I’d see Prince in concert, maybe even meet him. I took for granted that Prince was available, alive in the culture, occasionally in Hollywood. Maybe I’d stroll down to the W jazz night or some music venue or someone’s living room or patio. Then suddenly I might experience him. There would be that moment.
The truth is I have experienced Prince my entire life. Through his music. Through his performance. Through his delightfully signature subversion. A subversion he elevated to an art form. Perhaps that is enough. But instead of thoroughly enjoying “Cream” when he released it, I was busy insisting an Animal House “college” deserved my newspaper. Instead of enjoying “1999” I was returning to California to waste 7 more years seeing “The Big Short” to its conclusion.
Maybe it’s that I resent wasting so much of my life trying to chase money and please moronic clowns clutching employee manuals or diplomas or Bibles they can’t even read. I’m too nice. I listen to vaguely plausible people too much. I’m too generous with my life. Had I woken up a bit sooner, gotten a bit more impatient and angry, perhaps right now I could recall “I remember when I saw Prince and he …”

Who is FFIREHS? Tourists in LA & Vegas Have 50+ Answers


I  street perform (understood as a “busker” by the world traveler or the literate).  My months old character is FFIREHS, a Sheriff sporting short shorts, cowboy hat and Barbie walkie-talkie.  Apparently I resemble Thomas Lennon.  I doubt this occurred to either of us a few years ago, conversing briefly at The Hollywood Improv after Tom’s set.  About Marc Maron, naturally.
FFIREHS has a few video shorts on NerdoTV (“Do You Feel Safe?” and “Hollywood Tights“).  His interview with comic Dr. Brian King has 87,000+ views since November 27.  But who is FFIREHS?  Fair question.  But why ask the man himself?  As any crime scene detective knows, the testimony of eyewitnesses is often more diverse and entertaining than historical reality.  Who is FFIREHS?  As overheard near the man in question, here are the 50+ answers according to tourists and locals seeking entertainment on the streets of Hollywood and Las Vegas:
Reno 911!
Sexy Sheriff
Reno 911
Lt Dangle
Ef Fir Eesh
Super Troopers
Super Cops
Scream
Dewey
Doofy
Reno 90210
Cowboy
Naked Ass
Naked Cowboy
Non-naked Cowboy
Brokeback Lake
Sgt. Dangle
Deputy Dangle
ranger
Texas Ranger
park ranger
Parks and Recreation
Reno 901
Cop 911
Lt Dan

Fresno 911
Lt. Dango
Reno nine eleven
Doppler Dan
Dancing Sheriff
Mr. Reno
Roy Rogers
(Smokey and) the Bandit
The gay cop
Winter Policia
Borat’s brother
camel toe
Roscoe from The Dukes of Hazzard
CHiPs
The Incredible Hulk
Village People
Crocodile Dundee
Thunder from Down Under
“That’s like the worst one yet”
“Where’s the food court?”
“I thought that dude was dead”
“Are you real?”
“You lose a bet?”
“That isn’t real”
“Nice shorts bro”
“What the eff you see kay?!”
“It’s gotta be tough, man”
“Aren’t you cold?”
“Where do I catch the shuttle bus to the Hollywood Bowl?”
“The Flamingo is blocked,  where can I park?”
“Where can I catch a cab?”
“When is the next Bellagio water & light show?”

myMark.TV


myMark.TV

The evolution of my website face lift crawls along.  I find GoDaddy slightly more appealing than Vlad Putin and the Indian Supreme Court, so suggestions of any superior hosting alternatives are gratefully welcome.  My web design skills are nearly as extraordinary as a Gwenylth Paltrow book club.  Nevertheless my control maniac within requires on demand web design options that are quite … fluid.  I may just resort to a web design Lego system like WordPress, but might we crowd source a solution here for me?  Thanks!