POEM: Son of Elmer Gantry’s Bitch


Son of Elmer Gantry’s Bitch – by Mark Roman
This is an essay that became the current poem, but feels like it wants to be lyrics to a song.
I have more work to do…

I.
Why do I struggle in this culture so coarse?  
Why don’t I pursue profit without remorse?
Why do I want to heal, write and sing?  
And feel guilty every time I permit that fling?

REFRAIN
See scrolls, screens and stages speak to me indeed.  
So many died, some lived, that I might listen, watch and read.  
But why did Mommy transmit that curious reading itch?
Why me? Kimmy Schmidt? Son of Elmer Gantry’s bitch?

II.
Is it because I grew up Kimmy Schmidt, not boy but man?
Inside the body of that Eagle Scout son of Willy Loman?
The not yet dead salesman of creeds and policies.
Always at the Goddamn fucking knee of Elmer Gantries.

III.
Is it because I’m still technically Catholic, brother?  
Chained to a Pope enrages a father. But satisfies a mother.
A mother after whom my nurtured fears did once lust.  
A second awkward marriage averted. Back to dust.

REFRAIN
See scrolls, screens and stages speak to me indeed.  
So many died, some lived, that I might listen, watch and read.  
But why did Mommy transmit that curious reading itch?
Why me? Kimmy Schmidt? Son of Elmer Gantry’s bitch?

IV.
The student paper I wrote & published, why could I not let it go?  
That right wing Ken Doll pub crawl college boss sure hoped so!  
See he had a lot of agape to give.  If the smoking gun found sun.
Understand they wouldn’t. Especially his lady’s groom. His son.

V.
Everyone wonders why that abundant happy salesman not in my bones.  
Something completely different than Dad’s insurance.  Like mortgage loans?
Harness my wit and charms to sell whatever’s not yet criminal in this port!
Grab my “fair share” and do it before the next Great Depression or Big Short!  

REFRAIN
See scrolls, screens and stages speak to me indeed.  
So many died, some lived, that I might listen, watch and read.  
But why did Mommy transmit that curious reading itch?
Why me? Kimmy Schmidt? Son of Elmer Gantry’s bitch?

VI.
To love what you’re supposed to do is just a decision away.  
For those not burdened with too many questions to parlay.
Produce for the consumers. Why not Abide? Like The Dude?
Why so fucking depressed and homeless you silly white dude?

VII.
When the vultures steal and enslave, why don’t I in kind retaliate?
Their tactics are worldly and wise, why should I not embrace?
And so to my ground zero arrive the charity of career counselors
What the Goddamn fuck happened to all the emergency responders?

REFRAIN
See scrolls, screens and stages speak to me indeed.  
So many died, some lived, that I might listen, watch and read.  
But why did Mommy transmit that curious reading itch?
Why me? Kimmy Schmidt? Son of Elmer Gantry’s bitch?

VIII.
Doctors without board certified want to medicate my personality away.  
Soma.  For the masses.  If the theatre of Mass is not enough to assuage.  
The good citizens annoyed at the disease of my eyes that see.  
Why so stubborn?  Why not “get over it” and assimilate like we?

IX.
Why is merely being me an act of open revolution against the established fable?  
Why does imminent homelessness bring suicidal thoughts to the food stamp table?  
Mommy gave me religion.  And taught me to read.  Dark & Light, The Force indeed.

REFRAIN
See scrolls, screens and stages speak to me indeed.  
So many died, some lived, that I might listen, watch and read.  
But why did Mommy transmit that curious reading itch?
Why me? Kimmy Schmidt? Son of Elmer Gantry’s bitch?

© 2016 Mark Roman aka Mark Nehls – TheMarkRoman.com

(Rise above mere Dead Poets Societies!  Support poets when they need it most.  While still alive!  BUY autographed copies HERE.)

Top 10 Ways to Quickly Earn the Wrath of the AD


Top 10 Ways to Quickly Earn the Wrath of the AD

Hat tip for this to an assistant director it has always been a pleasure to work for, Paddy Connor!  This is a brilliant and necessary quick read for ANYONE who wants to survive and thrive on any TV or film set, even if you’re not one of those strange itchy people scurrying around like Charlie Sheen on serious tiger’s blood, talking into their hand like you’re not even there.  They one of the many Jedi of the Director.  Ignore or disrespect them at your peril.

“Your money is insured by the federal government . . .”


Guess who offered this reassurance?

Your money is insured by the federal government, you’re not gonna lose a dime.

It wasn’t a “credible” talking head on CNBC.  It wasn’t your stock broker.  It wasn’t a politician running for Messiah in Chief.  It was Robert DeNiro‘s character, Neil McCauley, in the 1995 Michael Mann movie “Heat.”  He was a bank robber.  The clip of that (anyone have a link to it?) should be a commercial on CNBC, CNN and Fox News.

We already have laws on the books that criminalize theft.  Who knew?  But when government “safety nets” make a thief’s crime easier (or even encourage it, or “incentivize,” as an economist might say), the problem may be with existing laws, not the absence of new ones.

We never learned our lesson from the S&L scandal.  The problem is not Charles Keating of old or Richard Fuld of today.  (Why cry over spilled Napster when an iTunes can come out of left field.)  The problem is the endless government “plans” to “solve” problems best left to free markets.  Government intervention ALWAYS creates unintended consequences that geometrically expand the existing problem.  Don’t get angry at common criminals masquerading as capitalists.  Get angry at any government “solution” that pretends to solve the problem.  Such counter-productive legislation is what needs to be “unwound”, not just investment positions poorly chosen due to the dearth of market information (courtesy of said legislation).

A week or so ago, legislation in California was vetoed that prohibited mortgage brokers (a former profession of mine) from offering option ARM or “neg am” loans (good sophisticated loan products doomed to the dustbin of history, but that’s another blog posting).  I laughed my ass off as I heard certain folks bemoan this great tragedy.  Why did I laugh?  The market had already effectively eliminated those products.  The two major lenders who offered neg am loans had shut down their wholesale channels (where mortgage brokers accessed the mortgage products) months ago.  The lenders?  Wachovia and Washington Mutual (Countrywide had already reincarnated).  Self-appointed Merlins and their useful idiots continue to peddle fake Halloween horror to the ignorant.  Meanwhile investment capital sits on the sidelines as villagers with torchs cry for more timeouts amid an existing delay of game.  How does this fix the broken capital markets?  Ah, but that question recklessly guides us towards a solution.  Apparently we need to hate the players and stall the game for the good of the country.

Why let ignorance of basic economics prevent the triumphant march of democratic progress in this country?  Saviors are entitled to their elected office and the trappings therein.  God bless America, dontchya know?  Populist democracy brought us the Federal Reserve, Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, FHA, FDIC, the Securities and Exchange Commission, Sarbanes-Oxley and many other glorious “plans”.  Those plans worked so well that George W. Bush, Nancy Pelosi, Barack Obama, Barney Frank, Joe Biden and John McCain have just “rescued” us . . . again . . . for only $850 billion . . . as of the last billing statement.

So why again should I vote?  What exactly would be the difference?